This · is · the · way · the · world · ends

So, I want to do something as crazy as Bonnie and Clyde did. I want to go down in history, in love and blazing glory. It'd be so fantastic. I'm trying to run this idea by Gavin, but I don't know how he'd feel about it.

I'm pretty certain everyone on this floor, or a select few people anyway, hate me. Tessa vandalized a poster that Garrett and David made, and now everyone is making such an enormous deal about what transpired that I just went off and had a big bitch-fest toward them. Basically, they think I'm positively rotten. Maybe they're right. Maybe they all have nothing better to worry about than petty occurrences and cannot possibly wrap their heads around the bigger picture of life. God, they are so stupid. Zack just farted. Jesus Christ. My friends here are great. They're all in my dorm right now and a bunch of ridiculous drama is going on right now. I swear, I must get out of here because I feel like I'm in a highschool with dormitories. It's absolutely deplorable. God. I really like this small group of people, and my roommate, but that is not enough to keep me. I can't spend so much money on a school that is not that great. Better to go to a University that is worth it's price, right?

God. Maybe I should make good with these people. Maybe it's not important because I am leaving in twenty-five days. I think the latter is true. I've always wanted to rouse passionate emotion from masses of people. Maybe this is a good place to start.

It sounds like I'm unhappy, but in truth I'm so fucking elated. My weekend was bliss, my life is bliss. I am getting surgery, it will be okay. Everything is going to be alright.

EDIT: Mallory, I will call you eventually. Everyone is in my room right now.

I have a really strange love of cephalopods. They're really neat.

I spoke to Courtney today. I had dropped Gavin off outside of TCC, and sat down to read while I waited for him to be done with his English class, and she came up to me. It was so weird. Two years of silent animosity and ignoring one another, and finally she came to me and asked, "May I sit down?" It was so odd. She apologized. That was all I'd wanted from her, an apology. We said goodbye after talking a while. I feel bizarre now.

For some reason I cried once I took Gavin home. He held me and I cried - he's never seen me cry and it's really, really embarrassing. I don't cry very often at all. We've been dating a year and a half and this is the first time I've cried to him. Agh. I didn't even really have a reason.

On another note, I GOT GERBILS YAYAYAY! They're really cute.